why are my parents so strict

Why Are My Parents So Strict – 10 Ways How To Deal

Understanding the reasons behind strict parenting helps bridge the gap between generations and promotes healthier parent-child relationships. It sheds light on why parents may adopt strict approaches, including factors such as cultural customs, concerns about safety, the desire for their children to excel, and high expectations.

Exploring these dynamics not only helps navigate the long-term effects of strict parenting but also contributes to improved mental health in children raised in such environments. This article delves into the reasons behind parental strictness and offers guidance on managing it, with a focus on fostering positive parent-child relationships.


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This article looks into why some parents are really strict and gives tips on how to handle it. It talks about things like how cultural traditions, worries about safety, and wanting kids to succeed can make parents strict. It also gives helpful advice on how to get along better with strict parents, like talking nicely and finding middle ground. The article talks about research that shows how strict parenting can affect how kids act and feel. In the end, the article says that being understanding, patient, and talking openly can help parents and kids get along better, even if they see things differently.

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Parents might be strict and controlling due to various reasons, like cultural beliefs, wanting to keep you safe, or their own upbringing. They may believe it’s the best way to guide you. Openly talking to them about their reasons can help you understand their perspective and possibly find common ground.
If your parents are too strict, communicate with them calmly. Share your feelings and reasons behind your actions. Seek compromises and prove your responsibility. Involving a trusted adult might help mediate discussions. Remember, understanding their worries while expressing your needs can lead to better understanding.
It’s okay for parents to set boundaries and rules, but balance is key. Stricter parenting can be driven by genuine concern, but excessive strictness might impact your independence and well-being. Healthy communication, understanding, and mutual respect should guide their approach to ensure your growth and happiness.

7 Reasons Why Parents are Strict

Why Parents are Strict in Their Parenting Approach

1. Influence of Culture and Family Traditions:

Parents sometimes adopt strict parenting styles because of the way their culture and family have taught them to raise children. Old-fashioned beliefs and customs passed down through generations can stress the importance of discipline, respect, and following rules. Even if these ideas clash with modern ways of parenting, parents might still feel obligated to stick with them.

2. Worries About Safety and Protection:

Worries About Safety and Protection

Parents often act strict because they genuinely worry about keeping their child safe. In today’s fast-changing world with new dangers, parents might make strict rules to make sure their kids stay out of harm’s way. Being scared of bad things happening can make parents want to control everything more.

3. Hoping for High Success in the Future:

Hoping for High Success in the Future

Some parents think being strict is the only way to help their child do well later on. If they have big hopes for their child’s school or job success, they might set really tough standards and want their child to always follow rules. They might believe that being tough now will give their child better chances later.

4. Memories from Growing Up:

Memories from Growing Up

How parents were raised when they were kids can affect how they raise their own children. If parents had strict parents themselves, they might copy those same strict ways, thinking they worked well for them. On the other hand, parents who had more relaxed parents might become strict to make up for what they think their own parents did wrong.

5. Looking at Others and Feeling Pressure:

Looking at Others and Feeling Pressure

Parents might feel pushed to be strict when they see how other parents act or what society expects. If they think other parents who are strict have successful kids, they might want to copy them so they fit in and feel like good parents too.

6. Not Knowing Other Ways to Parent:

Not Knowing Other Ways to Parent

Some parents only know how to be strict because they haven’t learned other good ways to parent. If they don’t know about better methods to guide their child’s behavior, they might just stick to strict rules and punishments.

7. Controlling Feelings and Following Cultural Norms:

Controlling Feelings and Following Cultural Norms

What’s normal for showing feelings can affect how parents are strict. In cultures where people don’t show emotions a lot, parents might use strictness to keep everything orderly and controlled.

10 Ways to Dealing with Strict Parents

Dealing with Strict Parents

1. Talking and Listening:

Being open and respectful when you talk with your parents is really important. Share your feelings and thoughts, and also make sure to listen when they talk. Let them know that you get why they worry and make rules – it shows them you respect their reasons.

2. Picking the Right Moment:

When you want to talk about things that matter or find a middle ground, choose a time when your parents are more likely to listen. Avoid bringing up stuff when everyone’s upset. Instead, find a quiet time to chat and sort things out.

3. Sharing Your Thoughts:

Tell your parents why you do what you do. Help them see things from your side. Show them that you’re serious about your responsibilities, but also let them know you want a little freedom.

4. Meeting in the Middle:

Finding a balance that works for both you and your parents is a good goal. Suggest compromises that deal with their worries while giving you some space. This shows you’re ready to work together to solve problems.

5. Showing You’re Responsible:

Prove to your parents that you can handle stuff maturely. Finish your tasks, manage your time well, and behave properly. Gradually, they might trust you more and start being a bit more lenient.

6. Getting Help from Someone You Trust:

If talking to your parents feels tough, talk to another adult you trust – like a teacher, school counselor, or a family member. They might be able to help you talk to your parents or give you advice.

7. Doing Well in Things They Care About:

Put your energy into doing really well in things that matter to your parents. Show them how great you’re doing in school, activities, or growing personally. This can help them loosen up a bit.

8. Being Patient:

Getting your parents to understand you might take time. Keep showing them that you’re mature and responsible. As time passes, they might start to see things differently.

9. Taking Care of Yourself:

Living with strict parents can be tough on your emotions. Find things that relax you and help you deal with stress, like hobbies, exercise, writing, or spending time with friends who support you.

10. Seeing Things from Their Side:

Try to imagine how your parents feel and why they’re strict. Remember that they’re doing it because they care about you, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.


A study published in the journal “Parenting” in 2022 found that parents are more likely to be strict when they are worried about their child’s safety or well-being. The study also found that parents who are strict are more likely to have children who are well-behaved and academically successful.

Another study, published in the journal “Child Development” in 2021, found that parents’ strictness is influenced by their own childhood experiences. Parents who grew up in strict households tend to adopt a similar strict approach when raising their own children.


Dealing with strict parents requires communication, empathy, and patience. By finding common ground, showcasing responsibility, seeking support, and maintaining self-care, positive interactions can be fostered. Recognizing the love underlying strictness can lead to mutual understanding and stronger family bonds.


Are parents more strict with daughters?

Parents’ strictness can vary regardless of gender. It might appear that they’re stricter with daughters due to concerns about safety. However, this isn’t always true and depends on individual parenting styles and cultural influences. Honest conversations can help clarify their intentions.

Why do parents get angry so easily?

Parents’ anger can stem from various factors, like stress, worries about your well-being, or their own challenges. Sometimes, it’s their way of expressing concern. Communication and empathy can help defuse tension. Understanding their emotions and sharing your feelings might lead to healthier interactions and improved understanding.

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