my husband called me fat during an argument

My Husband Called Me Fat During an Argument – 10 Ways To Fix This

Imagine your favorite mug, one that’s been with you for years, suddenly slipping out of your grasp and shattering on the ground. That’s how it feels when someone you love and trust deeply says something so hurtful. Hearing such words ‘You’re fat’ from your husband, someone you expected to be your biggest supporter, can cause painful feelings. This article delves into the emotional impact of such an incident, offering insights on how to cope, communicate, and heal within a relationship.

Psychological Impact of Being Called Fat by Your Husband.

Psychological Impact of Being Called Fat by Your Husband.

Lowered Self-Esteem: Hurtful comments lead to decreased self-esteem, self-doubt, and diminished confidence.

Body Image Issues: Comments reinforce negative body image, causing heightened self-consciousness.

Emotional Distress: Leads to sadness, anger, anxiety, and mood swings.

Impact on Relationships: Strains trust, and creates emotional distance.

Negative Coping Mechanisms: May resort to unhealthy behaviors like emotional eating.

Depression and Anxiety: Can trigger or worsen these mental health issues.

Impact on Communication: Hinders open dialogue and fear of sharing feelings.

Social Withdrawal: May avoid social situations due to self-consciousness.

Impact on Mental Health: Affects overall well-being beyond body image.

Self-Comparison and Self-Criticism: Engages in negative internal thoughts and comparisons.

How To React When Your Husband Calls You Fat

How To React When Your Husband Calls You Fat

  1. Take a Deep Breath: Pause before responding to control emotions and have a calmer conversation.
  2. Address It Later: It’s okay to process emotions before discussing the issue.
  3. Express Your Feelings: Communicate honestly and calmly about how the words hurt.
  4. Avoid Escalation: Responding angrily only worsens the situation.
  5. Seek Understanding: Ask why the comment was made to understand the perspective.
  6. Set Boundaries: Communicate that hurtful comments are unacceptable.
  7. Consider His Intentions: Assess if it’s a recurring issue or a one-time mistake.
  8. Seek Support: Share feelings with trusted people for emotional support.
  9. Work on Self-Acceptance: Don’t let others’ opinions define self-worth.
  10. Professional Help: Consider couples counseling for persistent issues.

1. Take a Deep Breath

When things get intense, taking a nice deep breath can actually help you manage your feelings. This quick break stops you from acting on the spot, giving you a moment to ponder before you reply. This stops things from getting worse and lets you handle the talk in a cool and positive way.

2. Address It Later

It’s entirely normal to feel bad by hurtful comments. Before confronting the problem, it’s acceptable to give yourself some time to digest your feelings. You can gather your ideas and enter the debate with a clearer head by doing this, ensuring a more fruitful discussion.

3. Express Your Feelings

When you feel ready to talk, be honest and open about how his words affected you. Using “I” statements instead of blaming language helps avoid putting him on the defensive. By expressing your feelings calmly, you encourage a more empathetic and understanding exchange of thoughts.

4. Avoid Escalation

When someone says mean things that hurt us, we might feel like hitting back with anger or saying something mean in return. But that’s not helpful. It’s like putting more wood on a fire, and it could make the fight even bigger. Staying calm and trying to talk about the problem in a helpful way can make things better instead. It’s like cooling things down and making it easier to talk in a good way.

5. Seek Understanding

At times, mean comments happen because of misunderstandings or not knowing better. When you talk to your husband and ask why he said what he did, you start to understand each other more. This might show problems that need fixing, making your emotional bond even stronger.

6. Set Boundaries

Communicate that hurtful comments are unacceptable, and establish clear boundaries for respectful communication. Setting these boundaries reinforces the importance of mutual respect and helps prevent similar incidents in the future.

7. Consider His Intentions

Figuring out if the comment happened just once or keeps happening is really important. It helps you decide if this is something that happens often and needs to be dealt with, or if it was just a quick mistake.

8. Seek Support

Sharing your feelings with trusted friends or family can provide emotional support. Sometimes, talking to someone outside the situation can offer valuable perspectives and advice on how to move forward.

9. Work on Self-Acceptance

Keep in mind that what others think, including your spouse, shouldn’t decide how you see your worth. Try to care about and embrace who you are, knowing everyone has imperfections and your self-worth isn’t tied to how you look.

10. Professional Help

If problems related to how you feel about your body or how you talk to each other continue, getting help from a couples therapist or counselor can be really helpful. They’re experts who can guide you both in having good talks, give you ways to communicate better, and deal with deeper problems to make your relationship healthier.


“The Impact of Name-Calling in Intimate Relationships” by Ashley M. Power, published in the journal Journal of Family Violence in 2018. This study found that name-calling is a form of verbal abuse that can have a significant negative impact on intimate relationships. The researchers found that name-calling can lead to decreased trust, intimacy, and satisfaction in relationships.

“How to Respond When Your Partner Calls You Fat” by Andrea Bonior, was published on the website Psychology Today in 2019. This article provides practical advice for women who have been called fat by their partners. Bonior suggests strategies.


To sum up, it might be difficult to deal with harmful comments in a relationship, but it is possible to do so with persistence, compassion, and positive communication. Keep in mind that the words you choose might have an impact that lasts a lifetime. By fostering open dialogue, seeking support, and working on self-improvement, couples can rebuild trust and strengthen their bond.

People Also Ask

People Also Ask
What should you do if your husband calls you fat?
Take a deep breath, address it later when calm, express your feelings honestly, seek understanding, set boundaries, and consider his intentions. Seek support from loved ones and work on self-acceptance. If needed, seek professional help to improve communication and rebuild trust.
What to do when a guy calls you fat?
Stay composed, avoid immediate reactions, express feelings calmly, set boundaries for respectful communication, and assess the intentions behind the comment. Seek support from friends or family, focus on self-acceptance, and remember your worth is not defined by others’ opinions.
What to do when your husband insults you?
Address the issue calmly and honestly, communicate how the insult hurt you, and establish boundaries for respectful communication. Seek to understand each other’s perspectives and consider seeking couples counseling if insults persist for a healthier relationship.
What to do when your husband tells you to lose weight?
Avoid reacting impulsively, discuss the matter later when composed, express feelings calmly, and understand each other’s viewpoints. Set boundaries for respectful communication, seek support, and focus on self-improvement for personal growth and self-love.
When your partner criticizes your weight?
Stay composed, express feelings calmly, and engage in open dialogue. Seek to understand their concerns, communicate your viewpoint, and establish boundaries for respectful communication. Focus on self-acceptance and consider seeking support if needed.
What to say to a guy when he calls you fat?
Remain composed, express how his words affected you calmly, and set boundaries for respectful communication. Encourage understanding between both perspectives and remind yourself that your self-worth is not determined by his opinion.

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